| Stop and StareI've been in Okinawa for 2 weeks and we're leaving in 6 days. Typical me, I'm sad and excited to go home. In ways it feels like we've been here for a long time, but again it seems like we just got here! We've done a lot, seen a lot of what there is to see on this tiny island. More importantly, we've gotten to spend a lot of time with the grandparents. I don't know that I've ever been around them for this long consecutively ever. Extended family have always fallen into the same catagory as family friends to me, we see them about as often and do the same sorts of things together, but there's something special about being related to someone. It's hilarious getting to hear stories about my mom's childhood, and not just from her perspective. It's unreal hearing stories about my grandmother's childhood. The amount a world changes within one lifetime is ASTOUNDING! Being a young person this still isn't an idea I've grasped very well.
I love Japanese. I love the Okinawan culture. I love the way things look, people look, the style, the heat, the tiny cars, the religions, the food, the houses, the ocean. I *love* it. I hope the motivation I feel now to learn Japanese keeps burning through the school year. It's funny how overwhelming or simple learning another language can seem in different situations. This trip hasn't discouraged me too much, so bravo for that.
If life weren't so busy and demanding, I would be happier. I feel like the most functional person when I'm on break from school/work. I have no job and am taking one online class. That means I can think about Abnormal Psych all day and not have to worry about what other work I'm behind in, and it's amazing. It also means I have time to read for pleasure, exercise on a whim because I have so much energy, I can do nice things for my mom because she's so busy and I'm not, and I can spend random times of the day with friends like a quick lunch, afternoon coffee, a late night chat, whatever. I don't think this means I'm a bum, but I think it means I have to create a life for myself where my job doesn't feel like work, and there's variation, where little things aren't piling up and hassling me so that my fun personality is beaten down by my tendencies for anxiety.
Why does everything seem so much more clear when you're on a break from actual life, never when you're living it? |
